ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
First off Issues you may encounter in hell as a...
American: Everyone constantly thinks you are an idiot. Every other week your gay americans are forced to live in harlem and your straight americans are forced to live in san fransisco, the other weeks you are all living in Europe where there is NO ICE IN YOUR DRINKS!!!
Black American: You are snatched from your home, put onto a tiny ship with thousands of other people, (many of them dead) it smells really bad, you are fed shitty foods, and you end up in a terrible place where you are forced to work for mean people 24/7, and you constantly get whipped/hurt/raped really badly.
Australian: Aboriginals have absolute power, no buildings, no politics, no education, no nothing. As well as this all alcohol has been replaced with the shitty flavor sensation of VB. The Sydney Opera house collapses eliminating your only real landmark, AFL is banned, the English defeat you in every sport for all eternity. And worst of all Dale Thomas has had a haircut!General lack of large meaty animals.
Belgian: You will be forced to endure questions from American tourists about where you keep your waffles and Brussels sprouts.
Canadian:America now borders the south AND north, and you share the same leader, people constantly ask you if you are American. Hell administration doesn't have Canada in their list, so you have to be listed as American, and your Hell ID says that you are an American.
French Canadian: Nothing is printed in your language, Frenchie.
Chinese: Everything asks you if you are Japanese.
Costa Rican: You have to travel for around 30 hours to find that you were given directions to the Puerto Rican hell. You will have to work for rich Colombian and Nicaraguan families as gardener, maid, or window cleaner.
Cuban: Fidel Castro is immortal and you can't take a raft across the ocean of hot lava for asylum.
Dominican
eople think you are Puerto Rican.
Dutch: Beer is nowhere to be found. Drugs, cigarettes, coffee shops, coffee, smart shops, smart coffee shops, cats, glade brand aerosol air fresheners, cough syrup, prostitutes, severe head injuries, and hairs from Dick Cheney's anus are strictly forbidden under penalty of catapult. Thus, the GDP of Amsterdam's beloved red light district is reduced by 1,000,000,000,000,000%. Windmills fall into disrepair. Spoiled European, North American, and Asian teenagers resort to finding themselves by cutting open their own chest cavities with a rusty chainsaw.
English You are forced to repeatedly write out your life story... using American spelling. You may only drink tea with lemon. You Live under a condominium of French & Pakistani rule. Welcome to Angleterristan!
Finnish: Everybody mistakes you for a Swede.
French: You are dressed in a striped shirt, beret, moustache, and string of onions for eternity. Every second day your face is painted and you lose the abilty to speak.
German: Everything around you will make comments about World War II and you will be force fed American coffee.
Greek: Everyone thinks you are Turkish. Everyone asks you about Plato, Alexander the Great, Aristotle, Pythagoras, etc.
Icelandic: You are forced to watch "Lazytown" for eternity.
Irish: the only thing you can say to everyone is "Top of the morning to you!" in a bad Irish accent and you will be forced to sit outside the pub, looking in at the crowd.
Indian:You will have to submit to every whim of the Britishers,eat their salt(and spit),and talk about only violence,mentioning Mahatma Gandhi in every sentence.
Israeli: Everyone you meet is Palestinian. The hummus is all imported from the US but the beer is still Israeli.
Italian: The only coffee is from McDonald's.
Japanese: You walk into a store to find out that all of the manga has been replaced with D.C and Marvel Comics and the anime has been switched with Disney and Warner Bros. cartoons and SpongeBob.
Jew: The only thing on TV is Mel Gibson's "The Passion". You will be constantly approached by the most beautiful models, but they will all leave after your mother disapproves of them.
Klansmen: No white people, no Christians and everyone is gay.
Mexican: You must wear a sombrero and poncho. Americans will follow you round, forbidding you from siestas.
Mormon: Everyone isn't dressed up to sell those books of Mormon, also lots of coffee drinking, women not wearing dresses that end below the knee and children swearing like young male sailors running about.
Muslim: The border police are American, the police are British and everyone else is Jewish. People start to question whether a religion of one billion people which controls dozens of countries and much of the world's oil supply could really be oppressed that much by infidels.
Norwegian: You must dress as a Viking.
Pakistani: You will either be sent back to Pakistan (peace be upon you) or to Guantanamo Bay indefinitely for no reason.
Palestinian: Everybody you meet will be Israeli and there will be no rocks or cameras should you try to fight them.
Peruvian: You are turned into a llama.
Portuguese: People constantly think you're Spanish.
Romanian: What? This is heaven for them. Unless you're a Gypsy.
Scottish: Golf is attributed to America, and you're forced to attend anger management.
South African
Black): Apartheid is back. (White): Apartheid is back, except this time the blacks are oppressing the whites. Welcome to Zimbabwe.
South Korean: You are forced to pay for computer programmes.
Soviet Russian: In Soviet Russian hell, 10 commandments violate you!
Spanish: Everybody speaks Catalan and you have to watch Catalonia and the Basque Country run their own country and your government.
Sweden: Everyone thinks your blonde and like to eat meatballs and lutefisk.
Turkish: Everyone you meet will be Kurdish or Greek.
Vatican: You are repeatedly artificially inseminated, only for the fetus to be aborted.
Vietnamese: According to the Vietnamese, there's no such thing as hell. It's a temporary place to come, sit and go: kinda like a nail salon or wherever you find Vietnamese all over the place.
Welsh: Wear a sign that reads "Welsh Not" or it's off with your heads.
Yugoslavian (Serbian): No room for the Serbian people, all those Croatians, Slovenians, Bosnian Muslims, Macedonians, Kosovars, Montenegrins and Vojvodinan Hungarians have theirs.
Zimbabwean: (Normal People), already being in hell, they can only go to heaven. (Robert Mugabe): All farms are returned to people who can farm them, a British person walks alive through Harare, and the Zimbabwe Dollar becomes worth something.
Politician(Republican): You spend eternity in a doctor's waiting room full of poor minorities because health care has been nationalized. Your estate tax is raised to subsidize gay marriages and Hillary Clinton has a 98% presidential approval rating as after successfully eliminating the national debt.
Politician(Democrat): California and New York are demoted to the status of non-voting territories. Cigarettes and incomes over $200,000 are no longer taxed. All Department of Education funds are sent directly to charter schools. You actually control 80% of both houses of Congress but still can't get the votes to override Jeb Bush's veto
===========================================
Place to Visit in hell.
* Limbo, by the beautiful river Acheron, easy to lose track of time here, notorious for its insect problems.
* Sin City, the capital of hell, notable individuals are Satan, Santa Claus, and Hitler.
* Lust, the red light district. Enough said.
* Glutton, restaurant capital of the region, many places to eat, but famed for its terrible stormy weather.
* Avarice, a particularly rich district, good public transport on bags of money eternally pushed by residents.
* Wrath, a dangerous place, constant violence, although good entertainment to be had betting on fighters.
* Styx, large marsh containing endangered species such as Medusa and harpies.
* Heretic Sports Complex, containing the worlds only boiling blood swimming pool, with burning sand beach, see famous serial killers such as Harold Shipman, Jack the Ripper, and Jigsaw. Be careful not to get lost in the seemingly endless forest for emo kids. And for the health conscious an inescapable treadmill in a gym filled with perverts.
* Fraudland, a world renowned zoo. Watch seducers being whipped to walk! See the Flatterers being buried in excrement! See magicians perform the 'head twisting' trick! Wow, and your experience would not be complete without the corrupt politicians lake of hot tar!
* Lake Cocytus, a permanently frozen lake, perfect ice skating and hockey all year round.
===========================================
People you will see in hell:
* A random American.
* George W. Bush.
* Satan.
* Charles Darwin.
* Marine from Doom.
* Your Mom.
* Your Dad.
* Danny Dickhead.
* Andy Dick.
* Nero.
* Elmo.
* Richard Nixon.
* John F. Kennedy.
* John F. Kennedy Jr.
* Princess Diana.
* Saddam Hussein.
* Barbra Streisand.
* Leonidas
* Hitler
* Hitler Mom
* Stalin
* Shinva
* Dante
* God
* Chuck Norris
* James Bond
* JC Denton
* Kane
* Osama
* Snake
* on
* a
* Plane
* Lenin
* Did i mention Shinva?
American: Everyone constantly thinks you are an idiot. Every other week your gay americans are forced to live in harlem and your straight americans are forced to live in san fransisco, the other weeks you are all living in Europe where there is NO ICE IN YOUR DRINKS!!!
Black American: You are snatched from your home, put onto a tiny ship with thousands of other people, (many of them dead) it smells really bad, you are fed shitty foods, and you end up in a terrible place where you are forced to work for mean people 24/7, and you constantly get whipped/hurt/raped really badly.
Australian: Aboriginals have absolute power, no buildings, no politics, no education, no nothing. As well as this all alcohol has been replaced with the shitty flavor sensation of VB. The Sydney Opera house collapses eliminating your only real landmark, AFL is banned, the English defeat you in every sport for all eternity. And worst of all Dale Thomas has had a haircut!General lack of large meaty animals.
Belgian: You will be forced to endure questions from American tourists about where you keep your waffles and Brussels sprouts.
Canadian:America now borders the south AND north, and you share the same leader, people constantly ask you if you are American. Hell administration doesn't have Canada in their list, so you have to be listed as American, and your Hell ID says that you are an American.
French Canadian: Nothing is printed in your language, Frenchie.
Chinese: Everything asks you if you are Japanese.
Costa Rican: You have to travel for around 30 hours to find that you were given directions to the Puerto Rican hell. You will have to work for rich Colombian and Nicaraguan families as gardener, maid, or window cleaner.
Cuban: Fidel Castro is immortal and you can't take a raft across the ocean of hot lava for asylum.
Dominican
eople think you are Puerto Rican.Dutch: Beer is nowhere to be found. Drugs, cigarettes, coffee shops, coffee, smart shops, smart coffee shops, cats, glade brand aerosol air fresheners, cough syrup, prostitutes, severe head injuries, and hairs from Dick Cheney's anus are strictly forbidden under penalty of catapult. Thus, the GDP of Amsterdam's beloved red light district is reduced by 1,000,000,000,000,000%. Windmills fall into disrepair. Spoiled European, North American, and Asian teenagers resort to finding themselves by cutting open their own chest cavities with a rusty chainsaw.
English You are forced to repeatedly write out your life story... using American spelling. You may only drink tea with lemon. You Live under a condominium of French & Pakistani rule. Welcome to Angleterristan!
Finnish: Everybody mistakes you for a Swede.
French: You are dressed in a striped shirt, beret, moustache, and string of onions for eternity. Every second day your face is painted and you lose the abilty to speak.
German: Everything around you will make comments about World War II and you will be force fed American coffee.
Greek: Everyone thinks you are Turkish. Everyone asks you about Plato, Alexander the Great, Aristotle, Pythagoras, etc.
Icelandic: You are forced to watch "Lazytown" for eternity.
Irish: the only thing you can say to everyone is "Top of the morning to you!" in a bad Irish accent and you will be forced to sit outside the pub, looking in at the crowd.
Indian:You will have to submit to every whim of the Britishers,eat their salt(and spit),and talk about only violence,mentioning Mahatma Gandhi in every sentence.
Israeli: Everyone you meet is Palestinian. The hummus is all imported from the US but the beer is still Israeli.
Italian: The only coffee is from McDonald's.
Japanese: You walk into a store to find out that all of the manga has been replaced with D.C and Marvel Comics and the anime has been switched with Disney and Warner Bros. cartoons and SpongeBob.
Jew: The only thing on TV is Mel Gibson's "The Passion". You will be constantly approached by the most beautiful models, but they will all leave after your mother disapproves of them.
Klansmen: No white people, no Christians and everyone is gay.
Mexican: You must wear a sombrero and poncho. Americans will follow you round, forbidding you from siestas.
Mormon: Everyone isn't dressed up to sell those books of Mormon, also lots of coffee drinking, women not wearing dresses that end below the knee and children swearing like young male sailors running about.
Muslim: The border police are American, the police are British and everyone else is Jewish. People start to question whether a religion of one billion people which controls dozens of countries and much of the world's oil supply could really be oppressed that much by infidels.
Norwegian: You must dress as a Viking.
Pakistani: You will either be sent back to Pakistan (peace be upon you) or to Guantanamo Bay indefinitely for no reason.
Palestinian: Everybody you meet will be Israeli and there will be no rocks or cameras should you try to fight them.
Peruvian: You are turned into a llama.
Portuguese: People constantly think you're Spanish.
Romanian: What? This is heaven for them. Unless you're a Gypsy.
Scottish: Golf is attributed to America, and you're forced to attend anger management.
South African
Black): Apartheid is back. (White): Apartheid is back, except this time the blacks are oppressing the whites. Welcome to Zimbabwe.South Korean: You are forced to pay for computer programmes.
Soviet Russian: In Soviet Russian hell, 10 commandments violate you!
Spanish: Everybody speaks Catalan and you have to watch Catalonia and the Basque Country run their own country and your government.
Sweden: Everyone thinks your blonde and like to eat meatballs and lutefisk.
Turkish: Everyone you meet will be Kurdish or Greek.
Vatican: You are repeatedly artificially inseminated, only for the fetus to be aborted.
Vietnamese: According to the Vietnamese, there's no such thing as hell. It's a temporary place to come, sit and go: kinda like a nail salon or wherever you find Vietnamese all over the place.
Welsh: Wear a sign that reads "Welsh Not" or it's off with your heads.
Yugoslavian (Serbian): No room for the Serbian people, all those Croatians, Slovenians, Bosnian Muslims, Macedonians, Kosovars, Montenegrins and Vojvodinan Hungarians have theirs.
Zimbabwean: (Normal People), already being in hell, they can only go to heaven. (Robert Mugabe): All farms are returned to people who can farm them, a British person walks alive through Harare, and the Zimbabwe Dollar becomes worth something.
Politician(Republican): You spend eternity in a doctor's waiting room full of poor minorities because health care has been nationalized. Your estate tax is raised to subsidize gay marriages and Hillary Clinton has a 98% presidential approval rating as after successfully eliminating the national debt.
Politician(Democrat): California and New York are demoted to the status of non-voting territories. Cigarettes and incomes over $200,000 are no longer taxed. All Department of Education funds are sent directly to charter schools. You actually control 80% of both houses of Congress but still can't get the votes to override Jeb Bush's veto
===========================================
Place to Visit in hell.
* Limbo, by the beautiful river Acheron, easy to lose track of time here, notorious for its insect problems.
* Sin City, the capital of hell, notable individuals are Satan, Santa Claus, and Hitler.
* Lust, the red light district. Enough said.
* Glutton, restaurant capital of the region, many places to eat, but famed for its terrible stormy weather.
* Avarice, a particularly rich district, good public transport on bags of money eternally pushed by residents.
* Wrath, a dangerous place, constant violence, although good entertainment to be had betting on fighters.
* Styx, large marsh containing endangered species such as Medusa and harpies.
* Heretic Sports Complex, containing the worlds only boiling blood swimming pool, with burning sand beach, see famous serial killers such as Harold Shipman, Jack the Ripper, and Jigsaw. Be careful not to get lost in the seemingly endless forest for emo kids. And for the health conscious an inescapable treadmill in a gym filled with perverts.
* Fraudland, a world renowned zoo. Watch seducers being whipped to walk! See the Flatterers being buried in excrement! See magicians perform the 'head twisting' trick! Wow, and your experience would not be complete without the corrupt politicians lake of hot tar!
* Lake Cocytus, a permanently frozen lake, perfect ice skating and hockey all year round.
===========================================
People you will see in hell:
* A random American.
* George W. Bush.
* Satan.
* Charles Darwin.
* Marine from Doom.
* Your Mom.
* Your Dad.
* Danny Dickhead.
* Andy Dick.
* Nero.
* Elmo.
* Richard Nixon.
* John F. Kennedy.
* John F. Kennedy Jr.
* Princess Diana.
* Saddam Hussein.
* Barbra Streisand.
* Leonidas
* Hitler
* Hitler Mom
* Stalin
* Shinva
* Dante
* God
* Chuck Norris
* James Bond
* JC Denton
* Kane
* Osama
* Snake
* on
* a
* Plane
* Lenin
* Did i mention Shinva?
Thank Uncyclopedia for this thing! Base on my Experienced to hell :3
© 2009 - 2024 Juskan
Comments65
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
If i may ask, but where are we supposed to see Leonidas?