Juskan

"A Chaos Marine's Diary, weeks 1-2" (long, funny) . (8 Replies). xenofexx[]. 2/8/2002 15:25 (2/8/2002 17:26) A Chaos Space Marine’s Diary The following text is made up of notes from the diary of a Chaos Space Marine in the Black Legion. Dreaded Diary, Day 1, week 1 - Arrived at new camp on planet Ythcolgar. - Started to feel pain in left arm. No idea why. - Hung piece of paper on brother Ardius’ backpack reading “Purge me!” and had a good (and sinister) laugh with the rest of the lads. - Brother Behemon painted the coolest ever winged skull on his shoulderplate today, and was brutally butchered by the guv’

Chaos Space Marine's Diary: The Black Crusade" by xenofexx “A Chaos Space Marine’s Diary: The Black Crusade” Day 1, week 6 - Awoke from sarge bellowing orders to everyone. Apparently, his majesty Abaddon’s fleet is due here tomorrow, and today was our last chance to do whatever we want to before we’re off to burn the galaxy. Having spent yesterday wisely, packing all my stuff and all that, I walked around camp all day. Arzhar was busy packing his gear, having some problems carrying it all with his new crab’s claw. Arturion, my bloodthirsty berzerking friend, was busy arguing with his sergeant. Apparently, thei

SCHOOL DAYS IN THE 41ST MILLENNIUM "No, Ahriman, you can't go to the Library for extra credit. Mr. Vect, stop messing about with that gas tap before you blow us all sky-high, and Thraka, please put Mr. Yarrick down. That's the third time I've had to ask you to stop that. See me after the class." "Now does anyone know the answer to the question? Anyone else apart from Ulthran? Mr Guilliman, perhaps you can stop scribbling in your notebook and tell us the answer..." "Mr Russ, Mr Jonson, stop bickering right now or you'll both get detention." "MR.INQUISITOR!!! YOU JUST PURGED THE TRASHCAN!!!" "it was dirty, Miss Jenkins..." "Why couldn't you

BOTCHED LEGION NAMES. World Bearers-Led by the Primarch Atlas, who surveys the battles from waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over there. Word Eaters-Philosophers of Tzeentch that take the prospect of consuming knowledge WAAAY too literally. Alphabet Legion-Attempt to confuse the enemy by all wearing different letters on their power armour. Thousand Puns-Need I say any more? (Guess who's in that one?) Death Gourd-They look kinda like gourds, right? Also wear pumpkin-shaped helmets. Stone Warriors-Had to start somewhere, right? Gnat Lords-Very, very annoying. And short. Emperor's Child Bearers-Wait, what? Back Legion-Always seem to be walkin

Gamework shop 40K *Dorn, Perturabo, Horus, Sanginius, Magnus, Gulliman and the Emperor walk into a Games-Workshop* Emp: Now, did everyone remember their Army cases? Primarchs, as one: Yes... Emp: Good, who wants to play first? Horus raises his hand and jumps up and down frantically: ME! ME! ME! Emp: Sanginius, play with your brother. Sang: Aww... Sanginius sets up his Blood Angels, and almost falls over as he sees Horus start to deploy IG. Sang: Are you kidding me? Guardsmen! *bursts out laughing* Dorn, what is that phrase you coined? *Dorn stands up on the painting table, crushing many Warhammer and LoTR models in the process, and

Diary of a Space Marine from the 2nd company of the Chapter known as the Lore Guard. 13th Founding (Black Founding). Descended from unknown Gene-stock. Possibly Space Wolves, possibly Raven Guard. Distinguishing physical features: Pronounced fang like teeth caused by mutated Betcher's Gland, heightened sense of smell caused by mutation to the Omophagea organ, brilliant night vision (as good as the Raven Guard and Night Lords) is a result of a slight mutation to the Occulobe implant, very slow maturation of new gene-seed. Non-codex: In damn near everything, especially tactics and strategies. Heraldry: None. Battle Cry: None. Homeworld: E

Day 34 Spent entire day practicing stealthy combat in the forests with the rest of the squad using rubber bullets. We are all covered in bruises. Got back at about midnight. One of the Dreads decided to get Cog-Brother Simonium Fisk of the First Company to replace one of its claws with a projector. Spent until morning watching a film called “Tech-Magus Frankenstyn”. Day 35 Breakfast was honey (from the hives in the orchard) and bread and arsenic. Lots of arsenic. Learned that the planet we will be going to tomorrow will have extremely high concentrations of sulphur. REALY high. Pictures show a yellow and browny yellow landscap

Day 60 Day 61 My feet hurt, may arms hurt, and my everything hurts. Turns out it was the Dark Eldar that were following me. They trashed my bike and tied me up and tied the end of the rope to their bikes. This is the first time I have had time to breath. They seem to be arguing about which way to go. They stole my Power Sword. How mean was that. Managed to injure one of them. Told one of them they had a spider on their shoulder. He tried to swat it. His clothing is covered in blades. It was very funny. Was trying to get him to slit his own wrists. Looks like were moving again. Damn. Day 62 Suspect that I am being taken to there dark ne